Maleesha Gunasekera has always loved writing and creating worlds to showcase emotions that people would often be afraid to show. She also used to secretly write fanfiction during the Science period at school. However, Maleesha discovered poetry when she started studying English Literature in grade nine, and it really changed her writing skills because of how incredibly versatile writing can be in literature. Since poetry allows writers to be able to communicate so much with a few words and have it be perceived in so many different ways, Maleesha herself decided to try her hand at poetry. Today, her love for literature and poetry, together with the many ups and downs of life, has turned her into a published writer, with her debut poetry collection, “Frag(me)nts of Us” published through The Jam Fruit Tree Publications.
“The relationship I was once in – I really struggled speaking about it with people, so I resorted to my other form of relief; poetry. I wrote about everything I felt, and as painful as it was to write about the abuse I was going through, it was a relief to write it,” recalled Maleesha. Poetry also helped her put herself in situations metaphorically and understand the trap she was in, and ultimately to escape that trap as well. In the beginning, this poetry collection was based on the poet’s feelings and emotions. The poet explained how she would get so overwhelmed and pent up with emotions to the point she didn’t know what to do with all of it. “I would write it all down and try to make it into a piece of art that I could be proud of. When that became a habit, I realised this can be so much more than just my form of healing. It can also help others with their situations and relationships,” said Maleesha. She explained how she gave herself a goal and a list of topics that she wanted to touch on. Each day she would write about one topic that she felt at the moment, and she did this for two years, writing over two hundred poems.
Maleesha’s book, “Frag(me)nts of Us” touches on all aspects of being in a relationship with a narcissist. The deceiving initial impressions, giving everything you have to someone that can never fully be happy, the gaslighting, and the emotional and verbal harm. Alongside that, her book also touches on the realities of not being able to let go of such a relationship and the shame that comes along with it. “Frag(me)nts of Us” also touches on the withdrawals and realisations after letting go, holding yourself accountable and finding peace in the reality of the pain.
“Writing about what I went through in itself was extremely hard for me in the beginning. I was so lost with myself that I didn’t know what to write. Words did not come through the way I wished I did. But I didn’t give up, I kept trying until I wrote something that truly reflected the depth of the pain I went through,” said Maleesha. Another part that is difficult is finding the community for these types of books. While I write about trauma, I also write it in poetry, and poetry requires the right audience in Sri Lanka. So finding that audience can sometimes be difficult.”
Maleesha recalls several memorable moments from her entire journey of writing this book. “I remember once I felt so angry that it made me write four poems in one hour, and I loved all of them. It felt like all the efforts of my writing without giving up were worth it at that moment. I kept those poems in my book and I added it exactly in the order I wrote it. That’s Hijack, Tag on My Neck, Swept Away, and Your Guide to Murder.” Another moment that Maleesha will never forget is when her own literature teacher used her poetry in a test to teach her current students. This, the poet recalls, was a full circle moment for her, to have her teacher, who first taught her poetry, find it worthy enough to teach her students through it. To Maleesha, it’s a moment that she will always treasure.
“I truly hope my book helps people understand their worth, understand that no one has the right to harm them and, most importantly, to show that it’s completely okay to say no without feeling guilty,” said Maleesha. She explained how this might seem like a small thing, but there are so many women wrapped around the deceptions of men who control that, who have forgotten their rights and their worth. A simple no can bring back so much power to yourself. The poet wants young girls to read her book before they get into their first relationships and understand that the world is not full of butterflies, and it also has a lot of pain. Maleesha wants the book to teach them to prioritise themselves above all else, and build their intuition to protect them, rather than protect others who harm them.
“I hope everyone chooses to give my book a try. Whether you’re young or old, a boy or a girl, there is so much you can learn from it and so much of yourself you can unlock through the emotions that will trigger by reading my book. “Frag(me)nts of Us” encourages you to feel and to feel with depth, which I believe will help you find yourself.”
Article by Gayanga Dissanayake